It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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