She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
