grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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