Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
