The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
