I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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