so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
