dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
