Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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