Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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