He had one of those small greek statue penises
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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