open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
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It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.