me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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