It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
