Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
