You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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