Your tits are I can't wait for
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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