you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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