I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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