We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
