Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
