meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
