Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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