What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
