i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
