i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
