***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
