glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
