she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
