You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
