I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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