she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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