LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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