I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
