Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
