I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
