If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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