Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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