I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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