No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
