Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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