I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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