No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
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I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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