He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
