no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
