White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
be right there i have to get my cape
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize