I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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