too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
