I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
