Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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