I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
