I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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