So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
time to smoke my breakfast
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
