Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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