Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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