How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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