Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
