I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
