I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
