I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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