I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
