Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
