so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
