I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize